Youth Mentor Impact Spotlight: An Interview With Mentee Shelby Ranville
Have you ever wondered what kind of impact you could have as a mentor? At KidStart, a mentor is an adult who spends time with a child or youth in need on a weekly basis, to engage them in fun activities that help them grow and thrive. This is a well-established mentoring program run by PLEA Community Services to support young people across all areas of Metro Vancouver.
We interviewed one of our former Maple Ridge Kidstart mentees, Shelby Ranville, to learn about her experience being partnered with a mentor. She was paired with Erika, when she was 12 or 13 years of age, and maintained a positive relationship with Erika until she aged out of the program at 19 and beyond!
What It’s Like to Participate in a Youth Mentorship Program
As someone who was in foster care from a young age, Shelby explained that having a reliable, non-judgmental youth mentor was a very important positive influence for her. Her experience highlights how youth mentors assist with day-to-day needs, as well as planning for the future.
Here are some excerpts from our conversation with Shelby about her experience as a youth mentee:
What kinds of activities did you do as part of the mentoring program
“She [Erika] helped me with so many things. She would help me with things like shopping with my clothing allowance, and we ended up building an amazing relationship, which is what I needed so much when I was young. She helped me look for rentals that would qualify as a home through my youth agreement.
She helped me build my resume and gave me volunteer hours with PLEA by helping with things around the office so that I could gain some experience to put on my resume when I had no other experience. She even helped me job hunt and get my foot in the door. I ended up working at Starbucks, where I stayed for seven years.”
How did having access to a youth mentor differ from other adults in your life?
“I went through a bit of a phase between ages 14 and 16 when I pushed everyone away and she was the only one who could ever get a hold of me. Erika was kind of the only person I trusted.”
Why do you think that is?
“I think because she wasn’t a social worker, counsellor, or other person who made me frustrated when I was younger. I guess she just didn’t have the label that everyone else in the system had when I was so angry with the system. She was just my mentor, so I trusted and liked her.”
How did your youth mentor help you grow and change?
“She never gave up on me. She always told me I have so much potential. When I was little, I was like, whatever, lady. But as I got older, I realized how important her support was. When she first met me, I was always AWOLing in the system. I was experimenting with pot and stuff like that and drinking alcohol…and she never made me feel crappy.
My foster homes would be freaking out, but Erika would never judge me. She’d say things like “C’mon, Shelby, you know this isn’t right”, but she never made me feel bad for getting into some tricky situations that teenagers get into. She always told me I have so much potential, and her consistently reminding me of that eventually helped me expand into my true potential. She would encourage me to attend meetings that I always wanted to skip, like meetings with social workers or school meetings.”
What challenges were you facing when you were in the program, and how did mentorship help?
“I was struggling with mental health really badly when I was younger. Erika helped remind me to take my medications. I also struggled with addictions and dropping out of school. Erika brought me to a meeting with the school district. I only went because she brought me a bagel. They told me I was expelled from every school in the district except for the alternative program, which I was not interested in.
Erika took me to tour the alternative schools and helped me pick which one I wanted to go to. Without her, I don’t think I’d ever have finished school. Later, she was there for my high school graduation. She supported me through all of that.”
What do you think is the most important thing a youth mentor can offer a young person?
“Just be there for them. Everybody needs somebody. Being caring and kind, of course. Being non-judgmental and having a sense of humour are really important. I once got charged for getting into a fight in high school with one of my teachers. And instead of being mad at me, she was like ‘Oh my gosh, what are we going to do with you?’.
Even though I was obviously in the wrong, she would approach the situation in a funny way to be constructive and focus on how to move forward rather than scolding or judging. Hearing something like ‘you’re better than this’ would make me think, yeah, I am better than this.”
How do you think your life might have been different if you hadn’t had a youth mentor?
“I wouldn’t have trusted anyone, so who knows where I would’ve been today, without having a support system that I actually respected and cared for. Having someone believe in me, someone who didn’t judge me for the bad choices that teenagers end up making.
I met Erika when I was 12 or 13 and continued with her until I aged out of the program. Even after I aged out, we kept in contact. Erika became a huge part of my life, even helping me when I had my baby.”
What advice do you have for anyone interested in being a youth mentor?
“It will probably take a while to build a relationship with a vulnerable teenager who has been through enough already. Just be there for them, and hopefully the kid will come around eventually. It probably took me a year to warm up to my youth worker. I eventually started liking her.
Having lived experience helps. You need to have a backbone, because kids can be challenging sometimes. You have to be able to put kids in their place, in a kind and supportive way, to help them make better choices.
I think once you do build that relationship, it’ll change your perspective on kids who are in vulnerable situations. I remember my mentor always told me that I was her success story. That was such a compliment from where I started and where I ended up. I think she really enjoyed watching the growth and being a part of it. She’s a huge part of my life still. It’s really rewarding and a cool opportunity to make a difference.”
Become a Youth Mentor with KidStart
It’s clear from this conversation with Shelby that having a steady, supportive relationship with her youth mentor helped her overcome significant challenges and become the adult she is today. If you are a caring adult with a few hours per week to spare, you too can have a positive impact on a child or youth in need. Contact us for more information on how to become a volunteer.
